"You haven't changed, except for your issues."

Ever had one of those moments when someone says something so inappropriate to you that you can't speak?

It happened to me at ProBlogger on Friday when I caught up with an ex-university classmate and fellow blogger. 

She mentioned she had read my blog and Woogsworld as well.

We were having a lovely chat talking about people we knew in the newspaper industry.

Then she responded with:

"You haven't changed, except for your issues."

I had no idea how to respond to that comment. It was as though the rug had been pulled out from under me. I just said I had to find Mrs Woog  and ST Murphy and I walked away from her as fast as I could.

This was someone I had not seen for 20 years, who now defined me by my mental illness. Not by the fact I was the head of global media for an ASX 200 company or the public face for a well-known consumer organisation or as wife and mother all she remembers is the bipolar.

I was in shock by the time I found Woogs and Murphy and I told them the story.

We were all horrified.

Why? Because I want people to know I am still the same person I always was before I was diagnosed. Sure life is a bit trickier now, I take truck loads of medication and I know my limits but I am still me.

I am aware that there will be a certain degree of identification between myself and the disease, after all I have dubbed this blog Madam Bipolar.

It is interesting, though, that no-one really makes much of a comment about SawHole, except to ask what it means (Lisa, Leesaw, SawHole). People do not fuse me as much with SawHole than they do with Madam Bipolar, which is probably a good thing because SawHole is a tad offensive.

It is important to point out, however, this disease does not define me. 

And not everyone sees me as a 'bipolar patient' or a 'bipolar victim'.

Here are some pictures that show who I was before my diagnosis in 2009.  You'll see that I am not that different now.

Here I am at a bar in Sydney for Melbourne Cup 2008 when I won Fashions on the Field. I am with my colleagues in the crisis, issues management and training team. I was one of the two media trainers, with Andy, the one up the back in the middle. I also did crisis work with Andy and Grant, the one who is puckering up at Andy. It was one big-arse job. I am still that person.

 

Here I am at the most special moment of my life - the first moment I touched Miss Charisma. I still stroke her forehead in the same place. I still do that because it links me to that sacred moment. I am still that person.

I am still the same person who yelled: "He's a fraud" a posh Sydney restaurant. It was a dare and how could I not cooperate? I love a bit of high jinx. At the time, I was egged on by ST Murphy, Mrs Woog and The Divine Miss M. In this photo is Mr Murphy and I. They have all known me for the past 20 years and they know I am still the same person.

This is me on my wedding day. It is a treasured family photo. We had a surprise wedding in a park near my house in 2007. Mrs Woog's sister was the celebrant. It was a laid back, no frills wedding and I loved it. And, guess what, I am still the same person.

I realised at ProBlogger people do see me differently. I had a few well motivated people ask me how I was with a look of concern. I am okay. So okay. Please do not worry about me. I will let you know via this blog if things are not okay.

The thing about bipolar disorder is that if I was unwell I would not be at ProBlogger, unless I was hypomanic and then you would know it because I would not STFU. 


I know most people have good intentions but my ex-classmate's assumption that my disability alters me as a person is just offensive. This disease will not define me because with modern medicine it does not have to change everything about me.

I spoke to ST Murphy about this and I started questioning whether I should change this blog's title from Madam Bipolar to Madam SawHole or alter my content so it was more positive.

He protested: "Think of the greater good."


Yes, there is the greater good. I have conquered bipolar disorder and so can others. I am living proof.


I have just had a minor sample of what others live with on a daily basis - the looks, the assumptions and the pity - and it really threw me. As a result of this, I now have a better understanding of how people perceive those with a disability.


This keeps me humble and makes me more determined to advocate for mental illness.


I am still the same person.



Just try and stop me!

So do people stereotype you? Do they see what you can't do instead of what you can do?